Let’s face it 2010 was a bleak year; the housing bubble burst, the economy was declining, new jobs were at an all time low and analysts predicted an even bleaker future for 2011. All of these conditions pointed to putrid results and guess what? That’s NOT what happened. We reported very strong earnings and surpassed analyst forecasts.
Thanks to you and your dedication, our team was able to overcome the adverse conditions that are out of our control and perform to levels that will keep our premium brand status while maintaining low cost producer structure. As a follow up to the strong year we are ecstatic to be introducing a revolutionary line of food products that meet the demands of our consumers and provide healthy and nutritional options for their meal preparations. Please stay tuned for our monthly bulletin which will have new and updates regarding the products and their formal launch campaigns.
As we roll into the next period and embark on yet another difficult year with adverse conditions I would like to thank you in advance for your dedication and perseverance. Danny, Bob, and Kate will be holding a contest in which we will be going to our workforce and seeking new ideas for product development and improvements. Nobody knows our products better than we do which is why we are reaching out to you. Let your imaginations fly and we will review the top 5 ideas during the next meeting.
You are our future and thank you!
I liked how your post speaks to the team members emotions. First bringing them down by the pessimistic view the forecasts had then lifting them up with the good news of the strong earnings of the year. Encouraging them to do their best and they are the reason of the success,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Abdullah, I like the opening paragraph that leads you from a dismal forecast to overcoming those obstacles to be a sucessful business.
ReplyDelete"Let you imagines fly" creates a vision in my head of freedom to come up with new ideas.
The opening statement got my attention (unexpected - that's NOT what happened). You kept it simple - we did great because of our great employees. You tied in the emotional draw by listing employees who care about the company and made the new intiative important. The contest makes it credible and will make this memorable long after the paper, when someone wins the contest and their idea is implemented. Very nice usage of the SUCCESs model.
ReplyDeleteThe opening statement made me feel gloomy and I almost didn't want to go on! Mostly cause my 401k stock just tanked so the idea of more bad news was more than I can bare. However the fact that your words pulled out an emotion like that means your technique was working!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job pulling the audience into your message Steve. The opening statement undoubtedly speaks to everyone's emotions in some way. Then, you hit them with the unexpected, informing them their company was in good financial health and a favorable future was on the horizon. Naming the specific people who will be in charge of the contest also gives a sense of credibility, indicating to employees the initiative will actually happen. Your use of the SUCCESs model really draws the reader in and makes the message "stick."
ReplyDeleteI agree with what everyone has said so far about the emotions tied in with the opening paragraph and how it makes the message sticky by being both emotional and unexpected (changing from gloomy to positive). Mentioning the names of those running the contest also make it concrete.
ReplyDeleteThe only issue I really had was the title. Although the title clearly defined what the memo was about, it did not jump out and get the reader's attention. I think the stickiness of a memo like this can greatly be enhanced by using a title or subject line that will really grab the reader's attention. Unfortunately, if the title doesn't get the employees' attention, then they may put it aside to read later and never get back to it, or they may just briefly skim it rather than read it thoroughly. Like I said, the memo itself is definitely sticky, I just think that a better title could expand the stickiness of it exponentially.
Steve, this is a good article. I noticed a few typos - "will have new and updates" - be sure that anything you publish as official org communication is proofread and grammatically correct. Don't let little things detract from you message or story.
ReplyDeleteGreat intro! Loved the unexpected turn. Not sure about the use of the word "putrid," but...
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